Pet-sitting for the holidays … here’s what one of the resident cats, Squirt, had to say:
I’ve got a great life now. No, not “great” … PERFECT!
A long time ago I lived at another house with 8 other cats and a lady human. I spent most of my time with the lady. Those other losers spent all their time off in other rooms, only coming out to eat … not cool!
Then one day the lady took me and one of the other cats and moved to another house to live with another lady and man human. I don’t know what happened to all those other losers, but I don’t really care … I’ve got it made in the shade now!
I like the man human, but he’s a little odd … I only see him for a few minutes at a time, and I can’t really get a real good petting from him. Mostly he just holds his hand out for me to sniff, or, if I’m lucky, he’ll give me a quick head scratch with one finger. I LOVE getting my head scratched! But no sooner does he get started, than he’s already stopped and leaves. He’ll pop back in briefly again later in the day, but then he’ll be gone again … strange …
But it’s okay … I’m in here with my harem! Don’t tell them I call them that, though they all absolutely know that it’s true!
First there’s my original lady human … at night sometimes we snuggle up and sleep together. During the day she sits on the sofa reading and watching TV, and I get to lay beside her and nap. On commercials and between chapters, she talks to me and scratches my head … I LOVE getting my head scratched!! And she does it just right.
Then there’s the little girl cat that came here with us. It took a while – ‘cause she’s a bit moody and snotty – but I have finally gotten her trained to lay with me in our favorite spots – on the bookcase, or in the sun by the door, or even on the sofa beside our human – and she’ll lick me and groom me all over my head … I LOVE getting my head licked!
But she is definitely moody, and sometimes she’s nasty to me, spitting and slapping. Even when she’s nice to me, sometimes she’ll quit before I’m ready for her to stop. Girls! Who can figure them out?!
But that’s okay, too, ‘cause the other member of my harem is the other lady human. Talk about easy to train … that was a piece of cake! I don’t even have to go get her, she comes and finds me! The best times we have is when I sit in her lap on the sofa and she scratches me all about my head … under my chin, behind my ears, down my neck. It only stops when I have to run eat a few bites … I have my priorities, you know. But after eating, I LOOOVVEE getting my head scratched!
My life is just about perfect until … HE showed up. The stupid dog.
He’s been here before, and I was so happy when he left. But now he’s back!
I don’t know where he came from or why he’s here … please, please say he’s leaving today!
But every morning … there he still is …
He doesn’t seem dangerous, but you never know.
And he’s so obnoxiously cheerful … nobody’s that happy all the time. He must be mental or something.
And he’s in my space and taking up time with MY harem! Stupid dog! Those are mine …
Uh oh, what if it’s a trick? Could he take them away from me? He could be dangerous!! What if he hurts them … or ME??!! I’ve gotta’ keep an eye on that dog!
I found a couple of safe spots up high – on the drawing table and on the desk – where I can keep an eye on that scoundrel … I’m onto you, dog! You’re in MY space now! You’re not going to get away with anything while I’m around!
So my life has been miserable for about a week now, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it, but I’m not giving up what’s mine …
Does anybody want a dog?