I’m pretty sure that when God sends me help, He’s probably sighing and rolling His eyes. Here we go again!
I know He loves me ... because of all the right reasons, like He sent His Son to die for me. I never doubt that or take it for granted.
But there are other reasons ... all the evidence is there ...
We have this sofa. We bought it for our first home in southeast Atlanta in 1976. It’s gold brushed velour, which sounds pretty tacky now in 2022, but it was cool in 1976. And it looks nice now, because years ago I replaced the cushions on it and made a slip cover for it.
It is a sofa bed and it is HEAVY. And it is also BIG. At 80” long and almost 3’ from front to back, it’s much too big for the 29” door opening I needed to shove it through.
Because it’s in this room and I need it to be in that room. While setting up a room for my mom to live with us, I had to move my studio and work space to this room. The space where the sofa used to sit in here is now filled up with my computer desk, scanner and printer. The first week I began all the rearranging, I scrambled to get my studio up and functioning first, so the sofa just got shoved aside temporarily to the far end of the room against some other furniture.
That was fine for a day or two, but after that, it was really starting to bug me. All that stuff shoved together and piled up ... looked like a hoarder was living here! Sitting in my new space at my new drawing board and seeing that pile every day was making me crazy! I had friends coming in a few days to help me move my large light table to the basement, and they could help me move the sofa, but I wanted it moved NOW!
For all the years it had sat in this room, it was a nice spot to watch TV. If I ever wanted to rearrange things a bit, it slid around fairly well on the carpet despite how heavy it is ... but how to get it through that door ... my brain wouldn’t let it go.
The back of it is low, so I measured it up from the floor ... only 18”! That will go through the door!! I can do this!
All I have to do is turn it onto it’s back and slide it through the door into the other room ... no problem ... well ... my mind started playing through all the possible scenarios ...
What if it crashes to the floor? What if it crashes THROUGH the floor? What will you do, oh brilliant one, when you flip it over and the bed comes flying out? It’ll be wider than the door! Are you just going to gently hold the bed closed with one hand while you gently push it with the other? Is THAT what you’ll do, oh brilliant one?
When I really, really want something, I never let reality stand in my way ... And for anyone reading this who wants to ask the obvious question, Where’s hubby?, you need to know that he had a nasty fall on Easter and was nursing a badly damaged shoulder. He couldn’t help, and there was no sense in even asking. Besides, it would’ve just added another layer of reality that I didn’t want to deal with ... everyone always has so many opinions when you begin telling them your intentions. It’s just best to keep your brilliant ideas to yourself ...
And that’s how I know God loves me ... I think I just keep Him amused.
There have been times in my life when I’d want to do something really not smart and He’d block my way and let me know for certain, NOOO!!! But this time He allowed me to proceed and – while I can’t prove it – I’d swear there was an angel in the room helping things along. I got the slip cover and all of the cushions off and laid the sofa over on its back, with nary a bump. The bed did push out just a couple of inches, and then stopped and went no further the entire time.
At first it slid nicely across the carpet until it was half in and half out of the doorway ... then it just stopped. I suspect that velour hit a spot on the carpet and the two of them stopped cooperating with each other. So I’m standing in the other room wondering how I’m going to explain and live with this for 3-4 days, when I look down and see the solution ... 2 large pieces of nice, clean, flat cardboard! Before I had moved my printer and tall pencil cabinet into the other room, there was a good-sized gap between the two where I stored upright large sheets of gator foam board. I don’t remember stashing any cardboard there, but here it was now!
So I slid the cardboard under that end of the sofa, and now, when I pushed on it, it slid easily into the room! Once inside the room, I was able to flip it upright, put the slipcover and cushions back on and get it into the perfect place under a large double window that looks out into the woods.
Oh, happy day!!
Perhaps it’s not so wise for a short, older gal to be shoving heavy furniture around without some help. But I had a crystal-clear vision in my head of how nice that sofa was going to look under that window. The clearer the vision is in your head, the more determined you are to push through whatever obstacles you face.
It’s the same when you’ve got a vision for anything ... even picture books.
You’re not going to write it this afternoon and see it in the bookstore next week. It’s a long, laborious process. There’s a lot to learn. There’s a lot you can do yourself, and a lot that you’ll need to have help with. You may even have friends and family who will pooh-pooh the whole idea and encourage you to give up.
That’s when it’s really important to know your own heart. Sometimes we want things that aren’t really right for us. We won’t listen when reality rears it’s ugly head and we plow ahead into disaster.
And other times, the thing we want is really right for us, but it’s so fantastic and unbelievable, that we won’t push through and make it happen. We allow the negative voices from within and without to talk us out of doing all the hard work it’s going to take. Later we will live with regrets for holding back and missing out.
Be wise, be balanced. Push through with courage and faith – on trembling knees, if you must – just keep at it until you vision becomes your reality!